Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The Beer Hunter

Football betting.
At the start of the season, one firm offered odds on which was more likely to occur, Charlton will play Chelsea in a top of the table encounter or Robbie Savage will win ‘Player’s player of the year’. After last season’s end of season collapse by Charlton, my cash went on the hairy Welshman receiving a new trophy for the caravan.

Unusually; my choice has proved to be incorrect.

The Champions head to the Valley knowing that a two goal reversal would knock them from the Premiership summit, but as they are yet to concede a single goal this term, Chelsea are the team we’ll build the accer around, get on at 1/2.

A Manchester United victory at Anfield is very much like a London bus, you can go two years without seeing one, then three come along in a row. The United manager can also be compared to a London bus; he’s big, red and can’t be relied upon for time-keeping.

Man U face Liverpool in the game of the week, and United are the pick at 11/8.

Van Nistelrooy has netted in every league match this season, and when Wayne Rooney isn’t fighting with David Beckham or making donations to the elderly, he’s banging in goals. Get on Man U to win, and take an interest at 5/4 about Van the man getting on the score-sheet.

Sunderland are as pointless as a step-ladder in the Crouch residence, but will face West Brom with real confidence. The Baggies have won only 1 of their last 23 on the road, and continue to play Horsfield and Campbell instead of the goal-machine that is Robbie Earnshaw. Back Sunderland at 5/4 to leave the Albion fans more distraught than an Australian cricketer / convict.

Graeme Souness and Craig Bellamy will go face to face for the first time since the Scottish nutcase had the Welsh wrong-un removed. The Geordies have the better players, and must be backed at 9/5; what a way to make a living.

I’ve come to a shocking conclusion; I believe that advertisers do not always tell the complete truth. Half way through a disappointing documentary on water conservation entitled ‘Great Dikes of the 20th Century’, I saw Steve Bruce’s mug on an advert looking very bored by a 0-0 draw at home to Tottenham. As City have lost three out of three at St Andrew’s, the prospect of a goalless draw would have the Birmingham manager sitting on the edge of his seat. That’s fiction, this is fact; the following movie related specials are available at Super Soccer.

“Bruce Almighty” – Any Birmingham substitute to score 4/1
“The Great Heskape” – Heskey to score, and Birmingham to win from behind 25/1
“Speed II” – Gary Speed to score two or more goals 40/1
“Mission Impossible” – Sunderland to win 5/4
“A few dollars more” – Rio Ferdinand to score the last goal 40/1
“Be Tall Juice” – Crouch to score with a header 4/1
“Jarosik Park” – Jiri Jarosik and Park Ji-Sung both to score 22/1
“12 Angry Men” – Blackburn to have a player sent off 11/2
“The Usual Suspects” – Savage and Diouf to be booked 6/1
“Al is in Wonderland” – Shearer to score a hat-trick 25/1
“The Incredible Bulk” – Rooney to score two or more goals 7/1
“Look Who’s Talking” – Rooney to be booked for dissent 8/1
“Shrek” – Rooney to be sent off 20/1
“American Pie” – McBride and Rooney both to score 11/2
“Fatman and Robben” – Rooney and Robben both to score 13/2
“The Old Dear Hunter” – Rooney to score a hat-trick 25/1

Quote of the week:

“F*** o**, you flash c***”

Wayne Rooney makes a fair point…

Stat, you’re a liberty:

The Arsenal players love to face Everton. Last season, 10 different Gunners got on the score-sheet against the Toffee-men.

Acc of the week:

Man Utd

The five-timer will pay over 55/1 when it sails in.

Weekend Betting:

Charlton v Chelsea Saturday 17th September 15.00

Charlton 5/1
Draw 5/2
Chelsea 1/2

Get on: Chelsea

Charlton have won 5 of their last 10 matches against Chelsea, but Jose’s men are clean sheet specialists; a sixth straight shutout will earn Jose a new Premiership record.
Match Special:
Chelsea to win 2-0 11/2

Fulham v West Ham Saturday 17th September 15.00

Fulham 6/5
Draw 9/4
West Ham 9/5

Get on: West Ham

The last time the Hammers were beaten at the Cottage in the League was in 1966; a year that will go down in English footballing history, as Blackburn went three games without having a player sent off. Away win
Match Special:
Harewood to score the first goal 7/1

Portsmouth v Birmingham Saturday 17th September 15.00

Portsmouth 5/4
Draw 11/5
Birmingham 9/5

Get on: Draw

Eight of the last nine matches have produced two goals or less. Blues are useless at home, but unbeaten away. Get on the draw.
Match Special:
Match to finish 1-1 11/2

Sunderland v West Brom Saturday 17th September 15.00

Sunderland 5/4
Draw 11/5
West Brom 9/5

Get on: Sunderland

It’s the most annoying record since the Spice Girls, but it ends now. Albion are useless on the road, home win.
Match Special:
Sunderland to score three or more goals 9/2

Aston Villa v Tottenham Saturday 17th September 17.15 Live on PPV

Aston Villa 13/8
Draw 11/5
Tottenham 11/8

Get on: Aston Villa

After a recent Hammering, the Villa can bounce back by beating Spurs. O’Leary’s men have won this corresponding fixture 1-0 for the past two seasons; they’ll edge it again.
Match Special:
Villa to win 1-0 7/1

Liverpool v Man Utd Sunday 18th September 12.00 Live on Sky

Liverpool 13/8
Draw 11/5
Man Utd 11/8

Get on: Man Utd

Rooney and Van Nistelrooy are on fire; the Pool can’t score. It ain’t rocket science, it’s an away win.
Match Special:
Rooney and Van Nistelrooy both to score 11/2

Blackburn v Newcastle Sunday 18th September 14.00 Live on PPV

Blackburn 5/4
Draw 11/5
Newcastle 9/5

Get on: Newcastle

The Geordies have never won at Ewood Park in the Premiership, but at 9/5, and with Owen and Shearer, the Toon Army are the value.
Match Special:
Owen and Shearer both to score 8/1

Wigan v Middlesbrough Sunday 18th September 15.00

Wigan 6/4
Draw 11/5
Middlesbrough 6/4

Get on: Middlesbrough

When the Boro go to Wigan, they win. When my Mrs leaves the house, everyone’s a winner.
Match Special:
Middlesbrough to win 1-0 7/1

Man City v Bolton Sunday 18th September 16.00

Man City 11/10
Draw 9/4
Bolton 2/1

Get on: Draw

The last team to take three points at the City of Manchester stadium were Bolton. It’s 13 games unbeaten for City now, and five undefeated on the road for Bolton, it all points to the draw.
Match Special:
No Goalscorer in the match 15/2

Arsenal v Everton Monday 19th September 20.00 Live on Sky

Arsenal 4/11
Draw 3/1
Everton 13/2

Get on: Arsenal

Arsenal demolished Everton on three occasions last season. Without Sir Terrence Henry, they may only score the three in this one.
Match Special:
Arsenal to win 3-0 7/1

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